theowlhousefandomcom-20200213-history
The Intruder/Transcript
Luz: And here we have the most fearsome creature in the world, the king of demons. Facing his natural enemy, the ducky sock. King: [grunting] Where are you now, ducky sock? Luz: So, why'd you call me here again? King: Oh, yeah. [grunting] Human Luz, you've been so obsessed with witchcraft that you haven't learned anything about my kind. Prepare yourself for... Demons 101. Demons like me are grim tricksters of the twilight, creatures of sulfur and bone. Luz: And cute little paws. King: [sighs] And cute little paws. True. We live only to create chaos and misery. Our only weaknesses are purified water and passive‐aggressive comments. Sometimes. Luz: Oh, you guys are sensitive. King: Even demons have inner demons. [grunts] The most powerful demon of all is the Snaggleback. He's a‐‐ Luz: Bad boy! King: Luz, pay attention. This information could save your life someday. Luz: No, no. I am so paying attention. This is my paying attention face. Mm‐hmm, mm‐hmm, mm‐hmm. [thunder rumbles] King: Uh‐oh. Looks like it's gonna rain. Luz: [gasps] I love the rain. King: Hey, wait. Luz: [exhales] I always love feeling the first few drops in my hair. I bet you do too, little buddy. [sizzles] Luz: What? Eda: Boiling rain! Everybody inside now. Luz: Huh? [groans] [yells] [clattering] Eda: Phew! That was close. But the important thing is you didn't get hurt. Luz: Yep‐‐ [groans] [grunting] Not hurt. THEME [demons shouting] Willow: Ow, ow, ow, ow. [grunts] Conspiracy Prisoner: [whimpering] [hisses] King: Look, now we're boo‐boo buddies. Luz: [squeals] Oh, my gosh, I love you so much. A boiling rainstorm on the Boiling Isles. The weather here is so fun. Eda: Yeah, we don't have weather. We have plagues, gorenados, shale hail, painbows... King: It's like a rainbow but looking at it turns you inside out. Eda: So, until the boiling rain stops, no one is allowed outside tonight. King: And if the rain doesn't get you, the Snaggleback will. They wander the rain feeding on boiled tourists. Eda: Well, whatever the case, this force field spell should protect the house from boiling rains and made‐up demons. Hooty: Hoot! Well, hurry it up with that force field. That rain is getting closer to my precious stucco. Eda: Yeah, yeah, I got it. Luz: Wow. Someday I'd like to be as cool as Eda the Owl Lady. Magical, sassy, surprisingly foxy for her age. Hey, why do they call you the Owl Lady, anyway? Eda: 'Cause I'm so wise. Hooty: 'Cause she coughs up rat bones. King: I think it's 'cause she gets distracted by shiny objects. Eda: No, I don't. [clicks] Eda: It sparkles and shimmers. It shines and delights. [whispering] I must have it for my nest... [groans] Luz: You have a nest? I want a nest! Nest party! Eda: Ugh. That force field really took it out of me. King: Uh‐oh. Moving a little slow. Age finally catching up to ya? [screams] Darkness! Luz: This is perfect. Since we'll be stuck in the house all night, Eda won't have any excuse not to teach me a spell. King: But don't you wanna finish our lesson? I was gonna let you scratch a demon's tummy. Me! Luz: Oh, uh, sorry, King. But... magic. [deflates] Eda: [sighs] Ahh! Luz: Oh, Eda, have I told you how rad your fang looks today? Eda: Whatever it is, no. Luz: Uh, and your hair is like... girl. Eda: I'm not teaching you magic tonight. I'm sleepy. I'm a sleepy little owl. Luz: Please, Eda, please. How am I supposed to earn my witch's staff if I don't know any spells? Eda: No. Sleep. [clicking noises] Eda: [gasps] Sparkle thing. Luz: [clicking] Oh, this? Eda: Ooh! Luz: Nope. Teach me one spell, and I'll give you your sparkle thing. Eda: I respect your cunning, but I also hate you for it. [thunderclap] Eda: If you want a witch's staff like mine, don't make me repeat myself. [yawns] Witch's staffs have power embedded into them. Luz: Gimme! Eda: But before one is earned, every witch needs to know how to cast spells on their own. Now... tonight I will show you how to create... light. Luz: [gasps] King: Yawn! Who needs another boring spell lesson when you could be learning all the fun ways a demon could kill you. Look how teethy. Bite, bite. Luz: Be quiet. I need to focus. Eda: Now, humans think magic is made out of thin air, but that's stupid. Everything comes from something. Let me ask you, kid. Where do you think magic comes from? Luz: Uh, from the heart? Eda: Actually, you're right. Luz: [gasps] Eda: No, really. It comes from a sac of magic bile attached to a witch's heart. Luz: Oh, gross! Can I keep that? Eda: No. Now, everything depends on the spell circle. The bigger the circle, the more powerful the spell. Luz: But how can I, little ol' Luz, do spells if I don't have a magic bile... sac? Eda: You know, I'm not actually sure. Luz: What? Eda: I know witches did magic differently in the past, but I never bothered to figure out how. [laughs, snorts] Luz: Eda! Eda: Don't worry. You'll figure it out. Now‐‐ [bones crack] Eda: I need to lie down. Luz: That's it? Wait! I need to see you do the circle thingy again. I'll record it on my phone this time. Smile! You're on camera. One more spell won't kill you. Eda: [groans] Fine. Now, you see, the... spell circle is really key because‐‐ [yawns] Ooh, boy. King: Welp, looks like one more spell killed Eda. Luz: [yelps] Oh, my gosh. My obsession with spells knocked out Eda. I'm a monster. King: Bap! Yep. She's out. Bap! [laughs] Just making sure. Luz: We should get help, right? King: Boiling rains, remember? Hooty: No, let her try. It'll be funny. Luz: But what if Eda's dead? Eda: Shiny thing. Big nest. [snoring] King: Remember when her head got cut off last week? That woman can survive anything. She's probably just tired from staying up all night chasing shrews and voles. Luz: Well, we can't just leave her on the floor. [thunderclap] [grunting] [groans] [snoring continues] Luz: Sorry for pushing you, Miss Eda. Please don't hurt me when you wake up. King: Should I bap her again? Luz: Just let her rest, you little goober. Come on. Let's go downstairs. King: Bap! [cackles] King: Yeah, yeah. Luz: [groans] This is all she does. Why you gotta be so cryptic, Owl Lady? Eda: Now, you see, the spell circle is really... King: Hey, you know what's really cryptish? Let me tell you about the most spine‐chilling demon. Smoochy‐pie the Sweetie Baby! He's... He's a lot more threatening than his name implies. Luz: Not now, King. I want to figure out this spell. But if I don't have a magic sac, what's the point? I'll just be twirling my fingers around unmagically forever. King: Why do you want to learn magic so bad, anyway? Luz: I was a nobody back home. But becoming a witch is my chance to be someone. Do you know what it's like to have no one take you seriously? King: [sighs] [thunder rumbles] King: If I help you learn that spell, could we finish our lesson? Luz: Oh, yes, yes. You can teach me about demons all week if you help me learn this spell. King: Well, she said witches used to do magic differently, so there has to be a way, right? And I have a theory. Every day I notice Eda sneaking drinks of this special elixirs, see? Then she always gets a boost of energy, see? I think that's where she gets her powers. And I know where to get some. Luz: Really? King: Sí. Luz: Thank you so much. You're a prince. King: King. I'm King. Luz: Right. [thunderclap] Eda: [snoring] [door opens] King: Now where could it be... [metal clangs] King: [gasps] Ha! Nice try. Trap: Nah, my heart wasn't in it. King: "An elixir a day." Cryptic. [grunts] [whimpers] Nah. King: Got it! Luz: Wow. I can't believe I'm about to learn magic. Real magic. This is historic. [thunderclap] Luz: [gasps] [whimpering] Golden elixir. Gone! This is awful. King: Who even needs a light spell when we have tons of lamps? [groans] Hooty controls the house lights. He probably just fell asleep. [crash] Hooty: Hoot! Hoot! Luz: Hooty! Hooty: Hoot, oh, hoot! Luz: [gasps] [low growl] Luz: Hooty! Are you in there? Whatever did this escaped into the rain. What could survive that? King: Oh, my gosh. The Snaggleback! It feeds during the rains. It must have stumbled across our house and seen us inside. [howling] Luz: This is terrifying. So why do you look so happy? King: [squealing] Because this could be a lesson. This would be a great way for you to see a wild demon up close and personal. Luz: You want to go toward those creepy sounds? No way! King: What if Eda gets eaten? She's upstairs and defenseless because you knocked her out. Luz: [groans] King: [squeaks] [floorboards creaking] [creaking] [wind blowing] [thunder rumbling] Luz: Oh, my gosh. Eda! King: She got snaggle‐backed. Luz: Eda? No! Slash marks. King! You're the demon expert. I need your help. King: I'll go get my demon book. [snarling] King: Wait, wait. First edition or second? [gasps] Luz? The Snaggleback got her. [snarling] King: You craven beast. Give me back my boo‐boo buddy. [gasps] Luz? There's nowhere for you to run! Snaggleback? Wow. You are a lot shorter in person. Snaggleback: [stammering] I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I‐I just needed a place to hide from the rains. King: Then why did you break down our door and take Luz? That's not cool, man. Bad snaggleback. Snaggleback: I‐I didn't do any of that stuff. I snuck in through a window just now. King: Huh? Well, then what... [crashing] Snaggleback: Oh, no! A twist! [stomping] [crashing] King: [yells] [snarling] King: [whimpers] [snarling] [roars] King: Oh, my. [yelps] Stay back. Hey, hey. I am the king of demons, okay? And as such, I demand you to barf my friends back up. [screeches] King: [yells] [yelping] [screeching] King: [yells] [exhales] [stomping] King: Luz? Luz: King! Oh, I'm so glad you're safe. King: Where did you go? Luz: I was checking on Eda, and she was gone, and then you were gone. I also tripped and lost my shoe. Oh, hey, you found it. King: I‐I‐‐ What's that? "Keeps the curse at bay." [gasps] "An elixir a day, keeps the curse at bay." Luz: Curse? Wait, what are you trying to say? King: I was wrong the whole time. That's no snaggleback. That creature is... [both scream] [low growling] Luz: Eda? Eda: [snarling] [screams] [scream echoes] Eda: [sniffing] [low growl] Eda: [sniffing] [can clatters] Eda: [screeches] Luz: Oh, man. Did you see her eyes? They were like‐‐ [snarls] What happened to her? King: Don't you see? The elixir I gave you doesn't give Eda powers. It prevents her from turning into that thing. She's turned into a nightmare and it's all my fault. I'm so sorry, Luz. I‐I just wanted you to be into demons like you're into magic. I don't have many friends, and no one even pays that much attention to me. I thought maybe if I taught you, finally someone would care about creatures like me. Luz: Well... let's finish the lesson. King: Huh? Luz: Eda's turned into some kind of demon, and we need to save her. So who knows more about demons than the best teacher in the world? King: [giggling] Let's see. She was bigger, covered in feathers, and had giant black eyes. Demons with black eyes are usually sensitive to light. That's it. Light! Luz, use your human wonder rectangle. Luz: I can't. My camera's all blasted. King: Then... what about that light spell? Luz: [sighs] You saw me. I can't draw circles in the air. I'm not like Eda. Eda: [on video] The spell circle is really... Luz: [gasps] There's a pattern in the spell circle. King: What? Where? Luz: It looks like this. There. [gasps] It's beautiful. [thunder rumbling] Luz: Oh, my gosh. I just did magic. I just did magic! I just did magic! King: Shh! We're not going to stop anything with something that small. Eda: [screeching] King: What do we do now? Luz: I think I know how to get Eda back. Will you help me, boo‐boo buddy? King: [scoffs] I'm kind of over that nickname. But okay. Eda: [sniffing] [clicking] King: Oh, what lovely thing do we have here? It's just so dang shiny. Oh, my. Oh, dear. Eda: [gasping] Ohh! [screeches] [screams] [gasps] Luz: I'm sorry, Eda. But it's for your own good. [grunts] Eda: [screams] Ahh! [slurps] W‐What happened? Oh, I have the worst headache. And my mouth tastes like roadkill. [gags] [retches] Snaggleback: I'm just gonna... lie here for a minute. Eda: Hmm? I was looking for that. King: Actually, we found an extra one in your closet. Eda: King? King! You stole my elixir? I ought to break every bone in your‐‐ King: Shh! [whispering] Over there. [thunder rumbling] Eda: Wow. How is she doing that? King: I don't know, but she did it all on her own. Hey, I, uh, kind of messed a bunch of things up back there. And I just wanted to say I'm sorry. Eda: Well, you better be. I got a long list of disgusting chores with your name on it. But it's not entirely your fault. I haven't been completely honest with you guys. When I was younger, I was cursed. I don't know exactly how it happened, all I know is that if I don't take my elixir, well, that's why people call me the Owl Lady. No one likes having a curse, but if you take the right steps, it's manageable. Luz: Whoa. So are you okay? Eda: There's nothing for you to worry about. It's all under control, and as long as no one steals my elixir‐‐ King‐‐ then I'm fine. But, hey, look at this. A human doing magic. Good on you, kid. Luz: I had some encouragement from a great teacher. King: Oh, you. Hooty: Hey, hey! Is anyone there? Hello? Hoot? I'm on the floor. It's cold! King: That voice. That horrific voice! Luz: We'll take care of him. You stay in bed. Come on, you goopy fella. We'll set you free now. Snaggleback: Ow, ow, ow. I think my tail was digested. [door closes] Eda: [sighs] Eda: [whispering] No, not this memory again. You! You're the one who cursed me, aren't you? Who are you? Who are you? Eda: [gasps] Oh. Luz: Welcome to the boo‐boo buddy club, Hooty. Hooty: Finally I get to be a part of something. Snaggleback: And then she had teeth in her stomach. Teeth in her stomach! Can you believe that? King: Oh, yeah. This will make a great addition to my demon book. Snaggleback: That book is filled with so many interesting things. Like this. I'm one of the strongest demons on the Boiling Isles, huh? King: Yeah, I'm gonna have to edit that. Snaggleback: Oh. Category:Transcripts Category:Season 1 Category:A to Z Category:T